Verbal abuse (also known as reviling or bullying) is best described as a negative defining statement told to you or about you; or by withholding any response thus defining the target as non-existant. If the abuser doesn't immediately apologize and rarely indulge in a defining statement, the relationship may be a verbally abusive one. cite: "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" 1992, 1996, 2010 by Patricia Evans
In schools a young person may indulge in verbal abuse - bullying (bullying often has a physical component) to gain status as superior to the person targeted and to bond with others against the target. Generally the bully knows no other way to connect emotionally ie. be bonded with others. cite: "Controlling People" Adams Media Corp: 2002 by Patricia Evans pg.191. In couple relationships the verbal abuser responds to the partners "separateness" i.e, independent thoughts, views, desires, feelings, expressions (even of happiness) as an irritant or even an attack. cite: "Controlling People" Adams Media Corp: 2002 by Patricia Evans. While some people believe the abuser has low self esteem and so attempts to place their victim in a similar position, i.e. to believe negative things about him or herself this is not usually the case in couple relationships. A man may for example, disparage a woman partner simply because she has qualities that were disparaged in him, i.e., emotional intelligence, warmth, receptivity and so forth.
A person of any gender, race, culture, sexual orientation, age, or size may experience verbal abuse. Typically, in couple or family relationships verbal abuse increases in intensity and frequency over time. cite:"The Verbally Abusive Relationship" Adams Media Corp: 1992, 1996, 2010 by Patricia Evans . After exposure to verbal abuse, victims may fall into clinical depression and/ or post-traumatic stress disorder. The person targeted by verbal abuse over time may succumb to any stress related illness. Verbal abuse creates emotional pain and mental anguish in its target.
Despite being the most common form of abuse, verbal abuse is generally not taken as seriously as other types of abuse, because there is no visible proof and the abuser may have a perfect persona around others. In reality, however, verbal abuse can be more detrimental to a person's health than physical abuse. If a person is verbally abused from childhood on, he or she may develop psychological disorders that plague them into and even through adulthood.
People who feel they are being attacked by a verbal abuser on a regular basis should seek professional counsel and remove themselves from the negative environment whenever possible. Staying with a verbal abuser is damaging for a person's overall well-being; and all steps to change the situation should be pursued.
Verbal abuse includes the following categories: countering, withholding, name calling, and abusive anger. The list of categories and their description were first published in "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" Adams Media Corp: 1992, 1996, 2010 by Patricia Evans. They are copyrighted. The complete list is available in any edition.
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